6/13/09

Something subtle...


It is almost 2am, I should be sleeping but keep on gazing at the window instead, this view, its not a view of a 2million dollar condo, but somehow a part if it in its own humble way, mesmerize me...the blurry sky with the still light...very still as if it was a picture rather than something real.All is still, only the sound of my fan fuzzing, through and through,it dawn to me..a dream of mine come true...

Here the little story, when i was growing up. i lived in "Kampung Paya Nongmi" the name itself can define it quite a faraway land...and this was like 10-15 years ago..
**ohh...how time flown by.At night, my childhood window is always always so very dark, not even a shadow can pass by, maybe there are light if you really looking but it was a lonely light most of the time...maybe from the neighbors or someone passing by...

During those nights, I always wish there would be more lights, I dream of windows filled with lights, street lights, neon light, those beautiful nights scene that girl see in her small tv screen. I dream of those light,just lights dancing in the darkest of a dark night...

As time goes by, I pursuit a much tangible dream, getting into a place people called
"university" then continue my way to be what people called "executive"...Little did I know a dream,once wished by that little girl...materialized...unnoticed...

Human always takes things for granted...and dreams doesn't come true in a blink, it happen in the weirdest kind sometimes, in order to materialize this, I travel so far, experience so much and forgot about it along the way, but it never really left me, it stays and fight it way to come true... somehow...in the most subtle way...

"lights and lights dancing in me heart"

6/6/09

Just for 10 minutes...

Just for ten minutes ...I will write this first since we all a bound to things and work and lot of other errand and the list never end, so did i.All i wish for is to curl up in bed, have coffee and toast, read my pending book, finish my unwritten journal and continue my personal project..Ya..for now its all i wanted because I'ma unable to do that.Human being always wish for something else....

When I was just a kid, I wanted most of the thing that weren't around me, nothing is ever good enough, I wanted to own the whole collection of those 5 investigator kids adventure, although i can just read them from the library.I thought if I owned them my life is perfect...no it didn't...


When I was at the back of my sister bike, going to school, how i wish i could own that pink bike, I wont need a thing anymore, ya...after a while i own my own bike....green...i have super huge grin on my face...but thats all to there is to it...i start to crave again..then high school happen...seeing a driver fetch a friend...make me envy...how come i couldn't have a driver to fetch me back, not seeing at all...dad always waited for me...under the big tree beside the school gate...every single day....

"running away from the craving monster"