Moon smile...

I asked him..."do you miss me?"
He said " yes...of course i do"
And I ask again..."how much?"
He would always said "as much as u did dear..."

I was silly...
and he was lying...

Then, he finally admit...
He sometimes didn't miss me...
back then...
Those words are just an escape...
The easier way, a safer place...

My reality was different then...
It was filled with flying fairies and perfect pony...

He smiles...
and I chuckled a little bit...

"It's ok not to miss me..."

Now i look at the star...
Then smile at the moon...

weekend project I

Its been so long i haven't really do any kind of craft work (and yes..updating in here as well.. ), this idea has been in the back of my head quite sometime. Now it is about time this idea is manifested. Just a simple weekend project, the ladies might understand why I need this...for all our earrings, bracelet, necklace and wutever accessories we might hoards over the years...

The stuff I manage to find.

I just moved to a new place so it was it take me quite some time to find the right material with a cheap price. This is what I manage to find and we'll see how it turn out to be! The black mat with holes is a cheap placemat -1euro, I found in Euroland and some used boxes are cut out to make the structure. Others are the string -49cent (it's really hard to get things when it is almost 6pm here, so this is the best option i have..).

The black placemat are cut according to the measurement, then I start to tie the string around to attach the structure with the placemat.

So this is how it look like from the front.This might take some time and you can actually be creative with this. Tie it differently or just used a tape for a faster result. I guess with this string, it gave kinda like a traditional, home-made effect, so a black string, colored ribbon, even wires can be used to get a different style.


This is the main part of the 'Capseri' (the name of this modular accessories organizer concept). You can make a different size and shape based on the your room and the amount of accessories that you have. After this is done, my stomach start to work out as well drumming and grumbling...aihhh.... Cooking time *I do miss those ordering time for food.......today's menu is Grilled Salmon..*I always am lazy to cook, so end up with simple stuff most of d time.


After dinner is done, the works continues...I created a some hanging holes for the bracelet holder, as well as the necklace. The parts that holds the bracelet, is also used to put the small earrings. So this is the final result. All this part can be customized accordingly so I really dings this idea. You can used a different color cloth, felt or other means of material to add to your own 'Capseri'. Maybe even hang small dolls, or pictures as decorations.

Simple, easy and really look like a handcrafted material. I guess with a better material, more sophisticated style can be achieved but this is practical enough for now. Fast to make, cheap, recycle material and yeah..serve it main purpose. New un-sharpened pencil are used as the bracelet holder, chopstick, pipe or even those metal tubes can be used, as long as it can be hang in between the holes.

This is the final result..with all my accessories available for now.

It really fun to do this craft things again, I have almost forgotten how good it feels to make something like this. A simple daily things...

Why this is called "Capseri"..it have something to do with a carpet of accessories... :)

Capseri...

The verge...

Those eyes,
almost swelled,
with whatever inside...

Hold it back,
it just ain't the time,
of renounce...

Hard to hide,
what the heart wants,
though the mind try to abide...

The yearns, the want,
halted in between,
the reality that bites...

Hold on...put up a fight,
don't you dare give up,
until the end comes...

"in between dreams of reality"

Pieces of 2009

JANUARY : l i s t l e s s

"and weary from these"

FEBRUARY : c u r i o u s i t y

"finding something beyond me"

MARCH : r u n a w a y

"escape from the tanglement of reality...a total bliss"

APRIL : c r o s s r o a d s

"either way...still unable to escape the shit"

MAY : h e a r t a c h e c h e

"such an ordeal...to just embrace thee"

JUNE : h e c t i c

"as if everything is falling"

JULY : c o m p o s ed

"start to be conscious over the value of every ride"

AUGUST : p a r a d i s e

"finally, found a nest called home"

SEPTEMBER : t r a n s i t i o n

"even, i don't know any better"

OCTOBER : b e g i n n i n g

"but...my hand is very clean...still "

NOVEMBER : d e v o t i o n s

"friendship that never cease to surprise me"

DECEMBER : p e r p l e x i r o n i c s t r a n g e

"that this continue to be true since 1984 "(-_-;)

"Greetings....2010"

State of nothingness...

Freedom...

sounds exciting, exhilarating. to obtained it people have died, sacrificing themselves for what they believe an act for the bigger picture, for the greater good. they died for the sake of a brighter future of the next generations.

All that is true...

i had a taste of freedom, in a smaller scale. freedom to do what i love, what i believe in. to materialize a dream that for so long buried deep in me, or at least that what i was lead to believe. in the end, i did nothing...ashamed is a mere words to describe it, pathetic is a small part that creating cancer towards my being...

All that was true...

i'm scraping whatever left in me to prove i can conquer back my own land...the vast land that have been left empty just because I felt safe and secure that it's forever would be mine. forgetting... whatever it is, that we profess its ours....if we left it empty, it will eventually become barren and then turn into nothing...

All that is true...

for without passion to dream and without hope to breath, we might as well end up dead and be nothing...

"freedom,they eats from the inside...sometimes..."

the shivers ...

My hand is still shivering...

At least better compared to a moment ago when the whole body is trembling.

"God...I'm so very lucky" something high above is protecting me...I can almost feel it.

Feeling my physical being, looking around my car...How can we actually left the scene unharmed with no scratch whatsoever that can possibly mark the event that just happened, which have the ability to cause something catastrophic...I'm so relief, beyond belief!!.

I was driving back from the airport. The air is moist from the rainy morning and it is still drizzling. I was about to take an exit, when my car suddenly go crazy, I can't control it like how i used to, its swayed left and right and theres a vivid image of the barrier and the green down hill.I swerved away from it! Yet the car still moved beyond my control, like a 15 years old teenager rebelling against the parent for the first time.

Then, I hit the break and can almost feel the car was flying, as normal people would say "it was a drift"...I held the steering tight, I guess at that particular moment, universe took over...

I lost that few second of my life and then I realize my car had stopped in the middle of the road facing another direction...cars on the other side were looking and might be thinking "Why is this girl do a U-turn in the middle of a curvy highway road"...I was still in shocked, still in auto-mode, move the car closer to the barrier...looking around, is it the car? what just happened? at that moment... semi paralyzed.

I saw a silver kancil followed by a light blue oil tank coming in front of me...why is the truck is light blue? where's my phone? No!!..I have to do something.."God...help me" I cringe...then I hit the triangle thing..and ya..have to do this..*honk...*honk...*honk...until both vehicles passed by me...and I saw another one coming...*honk..*honk...

Then I saw a black SUV on the other side stopped.He was signaling something as if I'm capable of comprehending me or the situation...wheres my phone?...

The guy came down, signaling me to get out from the car , "yes! found my phone" I should go out but unable to moved my body still. I opened the door, the guy came closer, asked me what had happened and chattering about something and that I have to turn my car around. I got out from the car, pale as a ghost cause I feel no blood gushing through my brain...all of them seems to be hiding in a sacred place somewhere...

I felt cold down to my spine, he asked for the key and turn my car around.I stood still and heard he said... "Try to drive until the toll, if anything wrong, you can give me a call, here's my card." I gave him a stupid node, don't even remember a thank you...went inside the car and drove away...trembling and shaking...

I drove 70km/h all the way back to the big city, and slowed until 40km/h at every turn...my hand and the steering is vibrating still...

I remembered, he said something...

"Hey, I think your back tires all flat already..."

I replied...

"Huh, never mind la...I think still ok..."

After I reached the office, I almost thought whatever happened seems like a dream...

Then i look at the passenger seat, I saw a blue name card, with an angel name on it...

Inside me...the shivers...again...

"God, thank you for letting me play around some more"

bloommimg.....day....

Lately...a lot of things tends to bother me. a lot of thing seems need to be adjusted.Why is that?those things that i never really mind so much before, come haunting me, distracting me from my blissful sleep.

I was laid back and pretty much easy to satisfied before, now even my food doesn't seems edible if its not prepared properly. Maybe I just upgraded myself in term of fussiness but then, I also annoyed with my own laziness and procrastination, not that its a bad thing but...still why am I keep being mad at me.. (0_0)..

As the theory goes, whatever we do in life, maybe our career, might have a certain impact to our ways of thinking, when i was in design line, my critical mind focus most of the time on product, mainly the current project. Now, as my line change to education, the focus swayed from product to people...including me...

Hoping for a better me...always...

"The monster keep on looking and lurking"